Isolation- Part 3, the Final Part.

Time with the fused team pushed that phrase 'Relationships are made in the vulnerable' back onto repeat in my head. Half way through fused we go home over the weekend. That Saturday night i didn't sleep too well and i had this desire to be spiritually fed. I didn't feel like reading any more or journalling, so in the early hours of sunday morning i found myself watching a sermon online. It was a first. The sermon series at Southland; 5 Ways to Wreck Your Life. The title of one was there, (all five where there but my eyes immediately only saw this one)... 'Isolation'. The one i was to watch. Instead of getting tired, i started typing notes, and realising that i need to sort this aspect of my life out. I still do. Yes God is more than enough, but He did not make us or want us to struggle along alone, He uses people to love people, to strengthen people, to make people. Watch it, or download it if you want to think about the need for community, accountability and encouragement within the church, great sermon based on Ecclesiastes. (Southland Christian Church)

Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire,

he breaks out against all sound judgement. Proverbs 18:1

 Here is a lie we often believe, to carry the load yourself is noble, it is a courageous act. No, it is prideful. If i believe that, my dependence in God is not so important. I think i can do it.  To live as a follower of Christ is to be changed, to want to turn from my selfishness and sinfulness. I cannot do it myself. I need God, and His followers. Through Christ's righteous i am saved, and through His Spirit i am convicted of sin and given the desire to change. He gives us a family to help us, to strengthen us, to cheer us on. Think of the big Bible names. Where they alone? No. 'Almost every character had a side-kick, someone going through the battle with them.'

David had Jonathan

Elijah, Elisha

       Joshua, Caleb                                         Paul, Barnabus                           

Peter, James and John

Moses, Aaron

I need to share my heart more with friends who know Him, share my struggles and how my walk with God is, really is. I began this blog hoping it would lead to more conversations of worth, and this little series has allowed me to see that i am not alone in wanting deeper fellowship with my friends. You are not alone in that. But those relationships do not just happen. It takes prayer, and it takes the courage to begin talking about different things. They take someone who is willing to be vulnerable. Choose a few close friends and begin forming those relationships. Those relationships have the potential to be some of the most significant and life-changing relationships.

The last big thing of the summer for me was Teen Camp. As leaders we were challenged to be real with the teens. On the thursday we had the (much talked about) relationship session. Two women of God shared parts of their stories with the girls and then in our dorms we discuss appearance, success and yes of course boys. I was challenged particularly by this one thought, what if we told our friends we loved them more, if we showed them acceptance and their importance. What if we spent more time loving one another, would so many girls still feel a need to be loved by a boy? If we did not gossip? Now girls i'm not saying it is wrong to want a boyfriend, or to want to be loved by a guy. But if we as friends loved each other better, included each other better would there be such an urgency to want a boyfriend now?

Tell and show your friends you love them

Isolation- Part 2

The middle two weeks of the summer is... FUSED. A summer program, similar to CSSM in beautiful Newcastle. This was my third year. And as you would probably gather from that, i love it! Each year i have God moments, moments where God is clearly showing me or teaching me something. I have many valuable memories from it. You could describe me as a mission trip junkie, being part of a team united in sharing Jesus Christ to others is the best. And the fused team is special for that reason, and more. The team is made up of young people from the different churches in Newcastle and a group of Americans from Southland Christian Church. Your right, i am not part of either, and there are a few others like myself, add ons. But none of that matters because we are united in the belief that Jesus Christ saves.

God has shown me what being part of His Kingdom on earth can look like through Fused, through His children who have been part of it. It was the first place i saw others praise God freely. Praise free from distractions, free from traditions, praise seeking to glorify God. A narrow eyed glimpse of Heaven. Praising together with others seeking after God's heart, and standing in awe of Him... gets me excited for Heaven! It reminds me to lift my eyes to the things above the things of earthly importance.

Being an add on, a random can exclude you from a group easily. It can exclude you despite others attempts to include you, you've missed moments the group have shared in laughter and in struggles. Yet the unity of Christ overcomes that. I love that it is not just a group of 'Irish', but that Americans join us. Any Americans reading, God uses you. I for one am so thankful you have been a part of Fused, and i am not alone in that. You bring an excitement, an honesty, a willingness to be vulnerable and more. A close friend once pasted on this quote...

'Relationships are made in the vulnerable'

It is not just an American thing.  Or a fused thing. That is just the context where i first began to realise its importance in the christian community. When you are vulnerable with someone, when your share part of your heart, your story, your struggles, your worries, you build trust. You build a relationship that is worth something, worth more than a facebook friend or another acquaintance you share a certain activity with. The relationships that are made in the vulnerable are the relationships that make a difference. The ironic thing is that the christian community can be the hardest place to be vulnerable, to share that sin your struggle with. It sounds good in theory, but when you know that they believe it is wrong, and you do to, you do not really want to share it so much. You want to hide it. You become ashamed. I'm not saying to share these things for the sake of it, but because we can help each other, we can be accountable to one and other and because James tells us

"confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."

Why do i associate it with fused, i think it is because we are encouraged by those in leadership and who share with us to be 'God-conscience'. I think it was Amy Duncan who once shared this challenge

'We need to become less self-conscience and more God-conscience'

When we do this, we find our worth in Him and humbly serve Him, knowing what He gives is completely undeserved. When we do this the barriers of pride are pulled down, allowing us to share our struggles and strengthen each other. When we do this, we remember the price for our sin has been paid by Christ, and that we are forgiven by the Holy One. The Holy One who promises;

"as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us"
Psalm 103:12

"For I will forgive their iniquity and I will remember their sins no more." Jeremiah 31:34

Isolation- Part 1

The past four weeks i have been surrounded by lots and lots of people. I'm just home from camp with over 120.  And yet if there is one thing God has been trying to teach me, it is this, i am isolated. I am alone. Surrounded by the noise of many, i am alone. Yes i had friends, and even close friends on the teams i was part of. And yes if you checked i have 750+ friends on Facebook, i know people from many different countries and i will be busy catching up with friends each day of this incoming week. But still I say i am alone. I know i have isolated myself, and i have been isolated by others, isolated from groups and by some who know my heart more than most. What about you? Maybe it all began for me back in September with starting university, and moving to Belfast. Before the summer i had an interview (or more of a chat) with Barry, a chaplain where i live. He asked me this question.

"Would you say you are dependent on the Hub?"

The depth of the question shocked me, i considered it for a while. I came up with only one response. One that scared me. "Yes"

I did not want to say that i was dependent on the Hub, God is the only thing i should be dependent on, He should be the one I depend on, but yes in a sense i am. Why? Because if i had not lived there this year i would have been alone, i would not have had the community i did, i would have missed out on the closest friendships of the past year and i wouldn't have had the same time to spend with God. I was a little ashamed to admit that i 'needed' the hub until Barry told me this:

Even the disciples were not sent out alone, but in pairs. (Mark 6:7)

That one thought, one sentence has been stuck in my head since. And God has continued patiently to teach me and to rebuke me on how we are to live as a community. The first thought: we are not sent out alone. Not only are we given His Spirit, 'the Helper' but we are to walk alongside one another. We, followers of Christ are to live life for Him together. Simple, yet in a world were loneliness shouts out loudly, if we became this community what would happen? how would peoples attitudes change of the church?

I once hated the church, but loved Christ.

I once hated the church, but loved Christ. Many Christians at some point will struggle with church, global or local. I did. I recall writing, 'the church is no Christ.'  and 'where is Christ in the church today'. I couldn't draw out similarities between the early church and the church today. I blamed them on my growing apathy and lack of christian community. It scared me that i might become like them. It still does. I prayed that the church would become more passionate, more forgiving and more of a community. 

In the end i realised the problem wasn't just with 'them, the church', i began to realise the problem was with me, it was me. One christian did one thing wrong against me, and it hurt, i held on to it, it made me feel unwanted by the people who should have been loving and caring upon me the most. Then i watched and criticised the church for x, y and z. I got hurt again by another, and then another, and another. Had i forgiven the first time? No. I was once asked if to forgive you have to forget? I replied no. And i'd stick by that, you cannot (in my mind) choose to forget, but you can choose to forgive.  You can choose to live in light of the forgiveness you have been given (or are offered) from God. The forgiveness we in no way deserve. I have been forgiven, and yet i did not forgive. I do not remember why, maybe because of my frustration that the church is not what she should be. But then i'm not what i should be. I am only made right with God through Christ righteousness. 

My dad says i am able to see what something can be. I can have vision. I see the best. I hope for the best. I dare to dream. I consciously try not to imagine how things will be because i tend to dream them up, and then lifes events are disappointments.

Recently, but also not so recently i've come to realise that i don't have a close church family. (This is NOT intented in anyway to insult any of you who may be part of that church family)  Once again, the problem lies with me. I am too self concious to say hello to you on a sunday morning, to ask you your name, after all you may know of me through my father, but how can i know you without asking? But it is not just about friendly hellos. What i want is to be challenged to become more like Christ, i want to hear how God is working in your life, i want my beliefs to be sharpened, i want to be pushed to trust in Christ's strength, i want you to point out my flaws and to encourage me, and i want you to help me to pursue God's purpose for me. That is the dream church family for me, but there is a problem.

http://chrismccune.blogspot.ch/2012/07/problem-with-reputation.html

I love to read honesty, Chris McCune has a gift for writing honestly, and when i read the post above i was reminded again how much of a problem i am.

"Then BOOOOM, in my face. They weren’t my problem. They weren’t the real foundationary, root of the problem. I was. Me. My REPUTATION."

I con myself into believing that i do not mind what people think of me, when the truth is that too often i am too concerned about it. To learn to live for One, is to become more God-conscious than self conscious. It is a lesson i am never done learning. I am often too self-conscious, to step out to do what seems strange but what God would smile upon. The problem is me. The problem is pride, the problem is my reputation, the problem is my feelings. 

"If anyone would come after me, let Him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?"

Mark 8:34-36

Fused 2012

I am MEGA excited about this next week. Week two of Fused! Below is the program. Week one was amazing, thank you for your prayers! If your in Newcastle with kids/young people, bring them along, they will have a great time!  We are using Mark for both our own devotions and our lessons. Pray that these young people will truely meet and get to know the most important person they ever could, Jesus. And that they would as Jesus said, and Mark wrote; 'Repent, and believe in the gospel.' (Mark 1:15) That they would turn from their sins, and trust in the good news.

I will be like Him, in the end

'Be still and know that I am God.' 

Psalm 46:10

A simple verse that requires us to stop, stop whatever we are doing and be still, and know that God is God. The great I AM is, He is and He wants to be known, known by you and by me. The busier i am the more i need to know that He is, the more i need to know that i have one God and one Saviour.

I often get discouraged when i realise that i am not who i thought i would be. From i was little i wanted to serve God with everything i had, i wanted to tell everyone, i wanted everyone to know His love and my love.  I always have dreams and plans in my head, some are simple, some are crazy. Some are for strangers, for past friends, and others for my closest. But i can be shy, i can be angry, i can be too busy, i can spend too long perfecting things. I turned 20 earlier this year. 20 and i thought i was experiencing a mid life crisis. To most people, or to older people, your just twenty. To me, i am now 2/3rds of the way to 30, and what have i actually accomplished? I have dreamt about doing mission teams, being a leader in youth group from i was 7 and yes i have been part of both, but i also dreamt about having more time for people, more bold conversations about my faith, about Jesus, am i having more, or less? I still long to be who God wants me to be, to love Him, to follow Him, not just in part but completely. I always will, because He is so good, and He loves me completely, even before when i was in sin, and even now when i sin, sin against everything He is.

 I love that God is the Alpha and the Omega, that He knows me now, what i will do in the future, the 'finished' me, the perfected me. This week i was reading the following verses;

God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. 

1 john 3:2

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12

I cannot wait until the day i see Him, and i will be like Him. There is no discouragement in that. But for now what do we do? We continue to be still and know that God is God, to give Him the place in our lives He desires and deserves. And we look to His Word, and His Son, Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.  

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

(Hebrews 12:1-2)

The beginnings of a strange summer

Summer began back in June with end of exam cake, shopping (window shopping at least), coffees (if i drank the stuff), movies, and other spontaneous plans. Quickly followed by moving back home, Cork CYIA team and the family holidays. I've had a blast of fun, family, fellowship, and sharing the good news. Up until now there hasn't been much strange about this summer. This summer unlike many before i have time, weeks of it and that all started monday past.

Of course me being me, I have made a to do list. Currently five tasks have the completed status five, and others are on going, or yet to begin. Having this amount of time is such a contrast from exam time studying. I was so blessed following exams to be able to spend time with friends. On monday i went into Belfast to catch up with a medic in the making. She admitted she missed medicine, being at uni, and the busyness of it all. At the time i though she was crazy, i was loving the break from all things academic, but following a week of housework and not much else, i agree, i'm tempted to get the books out, and that should not happen, not in the summer! Haha.

Last summer if you'd have asked me how i thought next summer would go, i would have told you i'll mainly be doing mission teams, a few at home and one foreign trip. I've had a heart for poverty since i remember and i had this sense that this summer would be the summer for something big, or maybe it was just a hope. I inquired about two trips, but in the end decided i couldn't. 

So i now have plenty of time at home, time that should be spent wisely. I want to do something that matters. Doing nothing annoys me, i can't handle it. I struggle with not having something to do, and yet after the busyness of first year, you'd think i'd enjoy rest. This week despite having very little in the diary, i've made myself pretty busy. The house has been dusted and hoovered, the washing and the ironing is done (all except for dad's shirts that is, mum is the only one with the skills for that job!) and the dinners have been cooked. I've been busy, but i've still been annoyed. Why? In part I missed the buzz of being part of something i believed was important, the buzz of being part of a passionate team and the buzz of believing that God could use us to touch a life, to change a live, to save a live. Doing the washing just didn't seem to matter so much. I missed being part of something that mattered. BOOM, my favourite friend frustration appears. I'm grumpier around the house, and Mum ask what's wrong?

Truth be told i somewhere along the way i thought i'd lost part of my purpose as a christian. 

If your from Queen's you've maybe been reading or even writing the posts in Uncover. Post 18 is read alongside Luke 10:25-42, where we find the story of the Good Samaritan, followed by Jesus' encounter with Mary and Martha. The writer of Post 18 did a great job tearing the truth from the stories, and pulling them together.

Do check it out: http://www.uncoverbelfast.com/1/post/2012/07/luke-1025-42-blog-18.html
I have a love (or hate) for sweeping statements. They can be bold, and brutally honest. This one is from the blog.

'Any relationship built on a need for approval will not last'

As soon as i read it, i questioned myself, am i looking for approval from God by doing? I know that i am only approved by God through Christ's righteous. It had touched something though. It and the blog touched those thoughts, of a lost purpose. But i haven't lost anything. My purpose is not gone or diminished because i'm not on team. My purpose always remains the same, as Presbyterians say 'Mans chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.' To enjoy time in His presence, being filled with His love. Out of His love all else will flow. I am not required to be on team to experience that. That can happen anywhere, with anyone, anytime. I can glorify God and enjoy Him here, in the ordinary, strange summer that lies ahead.

So here begins a strange summer, of continuing to fall in love with and be changed by my Saviour, my  Creator and my God.

Kingdom of Me

A song with a story, imagery and lyrics that i love,

I drew a line
Said this is where I'm safe and I feel fine
I drew a line
Satisfied. I lived inside that box for quite awhile
I'm satisfied 
Oh to think there's a problem I haven't thought of
Who I am; Who I am
Up in my castle I sit on my throne while the streets hold disaster but no nothing more
Oooo. I'm a fool; I'm a coward
I sail my ship out to sea; Look behind, see the kingdom of me.

Away I ran. This moment placed in time for me to stand.
Away I ran. 
Scared to see this monster that has taken over me.
Too scared to see.

Up in my castle I count all my gold while my kingdom is drowning in tears from the poor.
Oooo I'm a I'm a fool I'm cold heart when I look out my crown
I see blood I see fear
I see down, down, down
When will I learn
That it doesn't get much better till you turn
You gotta turn yourself around

Up in my castle I tear down my throne 
Cast my crown to the ocean and bury my gold

Oooo. I have finally found that when I look past my pride I see love come to life
For this kingdom to be is much more than the kingdom of me


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmmNOjPy-7A

Caleb

Blessed to Bless...

I am an over thinker. You may well have guessed it. I think things over for a long time. I enjoy thinking, I like to understand, I like to challenge ideas and I like to make sure I have things the right way in my head and so that I know the right thing. It is good to think, to know why things are the way they are, to understand and know what and why I believe x, y and z and to think through who I want to become. But thinking is not always a good thing, it can lead to confusion and frustration.

Frustration in itself is no bad thing. If your passionate about changing something it should cause frustration, but it is how you deal with that frustration that is important. Frustration can fuel passion or make you apathetic to change. I am often not too sure how to deal with it or use it. At times i've been overwhelmed by it and used it as an excuse not to try. It can damage the peace I have from Christ. Not the peace I have from the assurance that I have been made right with God through Jesus Christ that I have not lost, but the Spirits peace, at times i completely lose it caught up in thought.

This is one frustration I have, it comes and goes. It can take up too much of my thoughts and take my focus from where it should be. If you read my previous posts you'll know I'm reading through the Old Testament. My progress is definitely slowing! But i'm still going. In it a phrase I love is found, and hence the title of this blog- Blessed to bless. God blesses Abraham to be a blessing to others.

Money and how it should be used is something that has always bothered me. I still remember when I first saw this video (below), it was during a team meeting back in 2008. I'm not sure when my heart for the poor began, but i can recall this clearly. At the time i was beginning to looked at what others had and considered my self less well off, and while that was true, the video turned my attitude upside down. I was blown away by how blessed i was and how rich i was. If you've time- watch it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAnbwNeCQ5w

I decided to read The Me I want to be, by John Ortberg last year partially because i did not like the title. I'm much happier with the extended title, if you read on under it 'Becoming God's Version of You' and the book itself. Beforehand i really struggled, and was very frustrated by material desires. I can be very fussy but when i see something beautiful be it clothes, stationary or anything, i will love it. I will want it. When this happens my automatic reaction is one of this is wrong. I feel guilty, because i have what i need and others do not, so why should i want more. And so i generally dislike shopping. I've always thought that the moto 'give until it hurts' was admirable. Give until it means you cannot have something you would have liked.

What i fail to remember and one of the things this book reminded me of was that God has implanted us with material desires. It is part of how you and i are made. We have been made to see beauty in good design and craftsmanship. Here is a great quote from the book;

"If we could purge away all our sin, we would still desire material things because God created that stuff. All stuff, ultimately, is part of God’s creation, and therefore it is all good. And therefore it is desirable."

He pointed to Lydia in Acts, who was a good businesswoman, she was the first convert in Europe. So good at making money she owned her own home, which would then function as the first church in Europe. God used her passion in textiles and making money so she could provide the first church building.

God sent His son to bless us, so we could be a blessing. We are blessed. Both through Christ our Saviour and with wealth like Lydia. How do we then bless others with our good news and with our wealth? And how do i become less frustrated with the question of should i buy this? (When it arises, i have not been shopping in yonks! Student budgeting and all that.) I still think that give until it means you cannot have something you want is a good bench march, if not miss used. But i also should remember that material desires are not wrong, the beauty i see in material things can lead to praise of the Maker of all things. (and so i will be less so frustrated by the desire for 'earthly things')

"If material desires choke your generosity, cause you to live in debt, or create chronic dissatisfaction, then it is time to say no. But it is a good thing to put beauty in your environment that speaks to your soul. When you see that beauty, embrace that God-given joy and thank him that he is such a good God."

Work as worship

I am a first year medical student. Medicine was not quite the plan i had in mind. If I had a plan, it was never to be as busy with work as my parents. Simply my plan was not God's, but His is and will be the best, because it is His.




My first semester exams are now completed. Christmas was filled with revision and recall, revision, recall, reading, revision, recall, reading. If you'd enter my room you may well have thought i'd gone mad. You may have heard me repeat things aloud, throw a tennis ball back and forth quoting the facts and info.  I did not plan to do medicine, and i did not have a plan for how i would get through all the work. Each time i set a goal i went passed the time allocated. So i stopped planning. I was overwhelmed by the amount of information I needed to remember. The i cannot do this, i am going to fail mentality began. I got frustrated when i couldn't recall everything form the topics i had revised multiple times, and even more frustrated when i looked at how much i still had to cover.

A gift I was given shortly after I was born

This plaque hangs just above my bed and has done for years. I'd read it multiple times. The words of the verse and their order jumped out at me during exams, together with Genesis 39:23 (below). They reminded me that He alone is in control, I have a responsibility to work, to follow His way and trust Him but ultimately He acts. At the time I was reading the story of Joseph and time and time again it is emphasised that it is God who makes the plan succeed. He is repeatedly rescuing and restoring His people.

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. Psalm 37:5

And whatever he [Joseph] did, the Lord made it succeed. Genesis 39:23

These are my 'verses of the moment'. They are so relevant to me. When I am feeling like I am going to fail (and it is often), these verses make my role clear. I have a responsibility to fulfill the purpose He has made me for (and for me as a medical student that will involve a lot of learning, and time in study) But i also have a responsibility to follow His way and trust Him. He promises if I do that He will act. I have to learn to work more remembering that in this working I am worshipping Him. When i remember this truth my focus improves, i remember that God brought me here, (to medicine a subject i didn't think i was smart enough for) and that with Him i can succeed, made possible because of Him. 


I sat and passed my first university exams. I can truly say the Lord made it succeed! He rescued me when i felt like breaking down and giving up. And now that I am back, at the start of a new semester, with a busier timetable and more to learn, may i keep my focus on Him and not on my worries or inabilities and work for Him and worship Him. 


How much time do we spend frustrated with what we think we cannot do? And how much time do we spend meditating on God's Word declaring that He is the one who makes a plan succeed?! If we spent more time setting this truth in our hearts maybe we would work harder with more passion, and be bolder for Him.


Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. Colossians 3:23-24

Maggie Murray and my story, my witness

Back in December I had my first unfortunate but privileged experience of attending a friends great-grandmothers funeral. Privileged experience seems like an odd way to describe a funeral, but that is what it was. Maggie Murray was not someone I knew well at all, I even questioned wether or not I'd met her, and hence wether to go. I was scared of turning up and it being awkward, I'd never been to a friends relatives funeral before, and too add to it all Dad would be there which would make it even more strange in my mind. I asked another close friend, she couldn't go and then at dinner while deliberating over it all, I found that Granny was going, I wanted to go I had someone to go with, that was it settled. Then came getting ready. There was a bit of an outfit crisis (since my formal clothes were in Belfast). You'd think being the daughter of a funeral director I'd know how a funeral service goes, no not me! I was worrying about getting money for the offering- there is none. Granny and i headed, me in my interview outfit and Petra's shoes.

My worry about it being awkward faded when the family greeted me by name and connection, I was even thanked for coming. I may not have known Maggie Murray well but what I began to realise throughout the service was that her witness impacted my life. I did not know her personally, but I knew she has impacted my faith. The tribute was special. It taught me several things.

• The importance of not only how i live day by day but how i will live month on month, year upon year and the significance of my full story. I often get caught up in making the right choice, but it made me realise that the story of one live speaks louder than correct decisions and so it should.
• That the relationship you have with one person has much more of an effect than in that persons life alone. 
• I could not have come away from that funeral without having seen how significant family is and how significant the witness to family is. This was a women who made a point of having time for and loving her family; she had 'saturday family soup day', saved sweets and collected 20ps in smarties tubes for the children/grandchildren. I have long respected and admired Leah's parents for how they have share their faith with their children, how they have lived for Christ and how they treat guests like me in their home. I meet Leah shortly after I became a Christian and it was her witness to me in primary school that showed me how to live as a Christian, what difference it really made in my life. I am not ashamed to say at the start i copied Leah. Leah is the closest kind of friend, a lifelong friend who has shared much of herself with me, she has encouraged and challenged my faith and holds me to account. I thank God for her, and her family. I think she would agree that her parents have played a huge role in her salvation and growth as a christian. I am sure Maggie Murray's life has influenced Leah's parents and been a great example for them to follow.

This women was clearly a women of faith. She was in His word daily and a living witness to her family. Her witness was great, it stretched to my life and i do not even claim to know her. I often forget the importance of my witness to my family, I am blessed to live with a Christian family, but living for Christ is much more than simply being saved. My life should be encouraging and challenging my siblings walk with Him, but does it? Am I making enough effort to influence their walk with Christ, to pour love on them and to be an example for them? How will our witness compare to Maggie Murray's? Since writing this, this afternoon i know i have failed. I need to be committed to being a better witness to my family. To end on a brighter note my siblings know more of the person that i was today and that i hope to be more. Let's praise God for His plans of the relationships that help us grow in faith.

What is in a story?

We all love a good story. Reading and imagining what has been penned on paper. Maybe your not the novel/book type. I enjoy a good novel, but I do not always. In primary school my teacher noted I always opted for the 'factual' books, never for the stories.  If not in a novel, we can enjoy it in a movie, a song, a picture, a conversation.

In December I finally decided to begin something I've wanted to do for a very long time; to read God's Word cover to cover, the whole way through. To read His Word as 'one story'. I'm not writing to tell you I've made it through. That would be an accomplishment, I've only read Genesis and a small part of Exodus. I'm a big fan of the Old Testament and have been for a long while. Some think the Old Testament isn't as relevant as the New Testament, I'm not so sure that is true, but I understand how people can draw that conclusion. I love the stories and the instruction of the New Testament. The more I read the OT the more I see its value, its stories and its instruction into my walk with God.

The Old Testament is the story of how we were created, fell and God's plan to redeem us. We just like those of OT are sinful, we have the choice to live for God or against Him. Acting against Him, leads to judgement. And if we chose to live for Him, we will fail often and are dependent on God's grace. We serve the same good and mighty God!  There is much that can be learned from the OT. When I began I was worried I'd read over the many stories with familiarity. I did not want just to glance over it. I prayed to be able to meditate upon phrases and themes appreciating them and seeing their significance. This post testifies to being able to seeing new things in OT passages I've been familiar with since childhood. There is much to see in the stories of the OT. If you stray away from it...do take time to read them! You will be surprised with what all you will find.

Its class that God chose to write so many stories, that join to tell the one story of the Bible. The story thats purpose is to show the need for salvation, through faith in Jesus who came to save His children. The OT is part of that story, just like the New Testament.

There is so much beauty to behold in the stories. In the story you can imagine yourself in the situation. You can feel the fear of threats, the stress of the situation, you feel the joy of a hero winning or a plan succeeding. You can empathise or criticise a character. You seek out truth in the story and in yourself. You identify with the story, you stop and think about your own life, because our own lives are stories in progress. I am so thankful to a God who has written stories full of truth in the Bible. God's story to us, is the power to salvation and to faith.