One of many thoughts from Fused 2011 (a fortnight of mission, similar to cssm)
God's plan is not always ours, even when ours is centered for Him.
On the thursday night of our second week, Josh did an amazing talk on Jesus' death and resurrection, and its purpose. He expressed visually what Jesus went through on the lead up to the cross, and on the cross itself, highlighting the pain Jesus went through, to show us how much He loved us, and wants a relationship with us.
 |
| The cross, crown of thorns and whip. |
Our group of 8-11 year olds had time to really consider the pain Jesus suffered.
It's all good and well saying Jesus died for sin, but when you come face to face with the torture He went through it becomes far more significant. My small group of younger girls felt physically sick afterwards, and many of the other small groups were struck by what Jesus had gone through to allow them to come to Jesus.
The previous evening had been John 4, the Woman at the Well. After which Molly a girl in my small group asked, '
How do I make sure I have that living water?' What a great question! I explained that when we come to Jesus and ask for forgiveness, it is like asking one of us leaders for a drink, you cannot get it until you ask. Then you have to take the cup and follow through to your mouth, like how as a Christian you are to turn from sin and follow Christ, it takes effort, practice and time, think about a baby trying to lift a cup. But Jesus promises that when we come and ask for forgiveness, and try to turn from our sin that He will send us His Holy Spirit to show us what is wrong and then help us to do what is right. Like the water refreshes us when we are thirsty, God's Holy Spirit helps us change into followers of Christ. Not the best of analogies but that's what I made up on the spot.
I had gathered along the two weeks that Molly was from a non-Christian background, had a Children's Bible, but she'd only read it occasionally and only had one Christian input (a school lunch time S.U.). Because it was coming to the end of the week, we as a team were urged to finish any unfinished conversations etc, i felt like i needed to talk more with Moly, explain more of how we build a relationship with Christ and follow Him. I knew i only had Thursday to talk to her because she wasn't able to make it on Friday. So i prepared in my head what i would say to her and decided to show her my Journal. On thursday after that talk on Jesus death and resurrection, i spent time getting the girls water to calm their sickness, and then going through the questions which were great, and my girls were focusing on. In the back of my head i was still keen to finish up by going over a little of the question Molly had asked. But time was gone, we had already gone over time, and the kids needed to go back into the hall to see the last clip of 'The Adventures' (A group of superheroes try to find Jesus after being told He is lost). I couldn't continue because the next section was Live Action (Unknown to the kid's), the superheroes would appear on stage, so i had to change quickly and get ready. Whilst changing i beat myself up that I had not finished that conversation. Molly was here hungry for God, and to be a follower, and I hadn't explained properly or enough about how we have a real relationship with God and follow Christ. After the live drama in Scrubs i had to say my final goodbye to this kid i had loved, and quickly gave her a piece of advice: that reading the Bible is vital, that is how God will speak to you, and then you pray to Him: Every day.
I felt like I had let God down, and got so depressed that this thirsty child might fall away from believing in God simply because I hadn't explained it well enough, or adequately. Please pray for Molly that she will continue on in faith and grow, and that she will read her Bible and pray more and more! I'm now praying that God uses what I did say and that another Christian strong in faith will enter her life that can be an example for her and teach her more.
After thursday night I felt discouraged, the child in my group that was really asking questions was gone. I didn't feel pumped about Friday, the last day. The rest of the team however were mega excited about what God was going to do on Friday night, they were pumped, but not me. I felt isolated, and let that one situation cover my view. I let the 'problem', my sadness take over, and lost sight of what else God might be doing.
 |
| Team Adventurers :) |
On Friday evening we were finishing with a movie, and opening a room for kids that wanted to talk seriously to a leader instead. We planned to give out a Bible to those who wanted but did not have one. We knew of six girls who asked the previous night. But the demand was much greater than the 10 we had ready, so we had to make an additional list of six more. That room was bursting with kids wanting their questions answered. I talked largely to two kids: Chloe and Emily. I talked with Chloe for well over an hour, she had received a Bible, and after writing a little message on the front (getting the Bible signed was the thing to do!) I sat with her, and she was eager to how to find Books and verses, and to know where to start reading. We talked about some of the lessons from the Bible and read them. And then she asked, '
Can I be a Christian and not go to Church' I got the great joy of telling her that she didn't have to go to church to follow Christ, but how it can help us, and how it has helped me. Following on from that i got to share what i had planned to share with Molly with Chloe. I showed her my Journal, the prayers, the verses and ideas that I had learned from or that had really struck me. WOW!!! That was not what I had planned, i did not think i would be having any convo's like this! I was so happy and excited, I could see God use me and that Chloe simply got it. This girl was older than Molly and so she wasn't even in my small group, God just happened to use me, when I didn't expect it, but prayed for it. That was what God had planned. I could just tell. I would love it if you would pray for Chloe, her Nan, is the only christian influence she has. Her Nan was thrilled to see Chloe with a Bible and the difference Fused has made already, 'That Bible has yet to come out of her hands!' She is reading Mark, pray that God gives her wisdom and understanding and that her excitement over the Bible never leaves her!
So,
God's plan is not always ours, even when ours is centered for Him. But His are greater than we even could imagine and He uses us even when we are disheartened and unprepared! It reminds me of a verse that has been resonating with me lately: 2 Corinthians 12:9
'But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."'
