A piece of wisdom

Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life.
Proverbs 4:23

A thought is a powerful thing. Ponder on the power of thought for a second. Our thoughts control what we decide is right or wrong, our principles, our beliefs, our words, our actions, our character, who we become and who we seek to become...I'm an over-thinker, I know and get that my thoughts are powerful and ultimately define the person I will become, but as a follower of Christ are my thoughts always centered where they should be, no. Where should my thoughts be:

Set your mind on things that are above, not on the things of this earth.

Colossians 3:2

I wonder if my mind had have been on the things that are above, Christ, would I have been so depressed after talking to Molly on thursday night, or excited that God was drawing her closer and about what He was doing in the other children's lives?

Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life.

Proverbs 4:23

Not as expected, but as God expected.

One of many thoughts from Fused 2011 (a fortnight of mission, similar to cssm)

God's plan is not always ours, even when ours is centered for Him.

On the thursday night of our second week, Josh did an amazing talk on Jesus' death and resurrection, and its purpose. He expressed visually what Jesus went through on the lead up to the cross, and on the cross itself, highlighting the pain Jesus went through, to show us how much He loved us, and wants a relationship with us.

The cross, crown of thorns and whip.

Our group of 8-11 year olds had time to really consider the pain Jesus suffered. It's all good and well saying Jesus died for sin, but when you come face to face with the torture He went through it becomes far more significant. My small group of younger girls felt physically sick afterwards, and many of the other small groups were struck by what Jesus had gone through to allow them to come to Jesus.

The previous evening had been John 4, the Woman at the Well. After which Molly a girl in my small group asked, 'How do I make sure I have that living water?' What a great question! I explained that when we come to Jesus and ask for forgiveness, it is like asking one of us leaders for a drink, you cannot get it until you ask. Then you have to take the cup and follow through to your mouth, like how as a Christian you are to turn from sin and follow Christ, it takes effort, practice and time, think about a baby trying to lift a cup. But Jesus promises that when we come and ask for forgiveness, and try to turn from our sin that He will send us His Holy Spirit to show us what is wrong and then help us to do what is right. Like the water refreshes us when we are thirsty, God's Holy Spirit helps us change into followers of Christ. Not the best of analogies but that's what I made up on the spot.

I had gathered along the two weeks that Molly was from a non-Christian background, had a Children's Bible, but she'd only read it occasionally and only had one Christian input (a school lunch time S.U.).  Because it was coming to the end of the week, we as a team were urged to finish any unfinished conversations etc, i felt like i needed to talk more with Moly, explain more of how we build a relationship with Christ and follow Him. I knew i only had Thursday to talk to her because she wasn't able to make it on Friday. So i prepared in my head what i would say to her and decided to show her my Journal. On thursday after that talk on Jesus death and resurrection, i spent time getting the girls water to calm their sickness, and then going through the questions which were great, and my girls were focusing on. In the back of my head i was still keen to finish up by going over a little of the question Molly had asked. But time was gone, we had already gone over time, and the kids needed to go back into the hall to see the last clip of 'The Adventures' (A group of superheroes try to find Jesus after being told He is lost). I couldn't continue because the next section was Live Action (Unknown to the kid's), the superheroes would  appear on stage, so i had to change quickly and get ready. Whilst changing i beat myself up that I had not finished that conversation. Molly was here hungry for God, and to be a follower, and I hadn't explained properly or enough about how we have a real relationship with God and follow Christ. After the live drama in Scrubs i had to say my final goodbye to this kid i had loved, and quickly gave her a piece of advice: that reading the Bible is vital, that is how God will speak to you, and then you pray to Him: Every day.

I felt like I had let God down, and got so depressed that this thirsty child might fall away from believing in God simply because I hadn't explained it well enough, or adequately. Please pray for Molly that she will continue on in faith and grow, and that she will read her Bible and pray more and more! I'm now praying that God uses what I did say and that another Christian strong in faith will enter her life that can be an example for her and teach her more.

After thursday night I felt discouraged, the child in my group that was really asking questions was gone. I didn't feel pumped about Friday, the last day. The rest of the team however were mega excited about what God was going to do on Friday night, they were pumped, but not me. I felt isolated, and let that one situation cover my view. I let the 'problem', my sadness take over, and lost sight of what else God might be doing.

Team Adventurers :)

On Friday evening we were finishing with a movie, and opening a room for kids that wanted to talk seriously to a leader instead. We planned to give out a Bible to those who wanted but did not have one. We knew of six girls who asked the previous night. But the demand was much greater than the 10 we had ready, so we had to make an additional list of six more.  That room was bursting with kids wanting their questions answered. I talked largely to two kids: Chloe and Emily. I talked with Chloe for well over an hour, she had received a Bible, and after writing a little message on the front (getting the Bible signed was the thing to do!) I sat with her, and she was eager to how to find Books and verses, and to know where to start reading. We talked about some of the lessons from the Bible and read them. And then she asked, 'Can I be a Christian and not go to Church' I got the great joy of telling her that she didn't have to go to church to follow Christ, but how it can help us, and how it has helped me. Following on from that i got to share what i had planned to share with Molly with Chloe. I showed her my Journal, the prayers, the verses and ideas that I had learned from or that had really struck me. WOW!!! That was not what I had planned, i did not think i would be having any convo's like this! I was so happy and excited, I could see God use me and that Chloe simply got it. This girl was older than Molly and so she wasn't even in my small group, God just happened to use me, when I didn't expect it, but prayed for it. That was what God had planned. I could just tell. I would love it if you would pray for Chloe, her Nan, is the only christian influence she has. Her Nan was thrilled to see Chloe with a Bible and the difference Fused has made already, 'That Bible has yet to come out of her hands!' She is reading Mark, pray that God gives her wisdom and understanding and that her excitement over the Bible never leaves her!

So, God's plan is not always ours, even when ours is centered for Him. But His are greater than we even could imagine and He uses us even when we are disheartened and unprepared! It reminds me of a verse that has been resonating with me lately:  2 Corinthians 12:9


'But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."'

A challenging thought

"Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done"
Luke 22:42


In the moments before Jesus' arrest and betrayal He had His eyes on His Father. He knew His purpose and followed though. He followed through despite how much it hurt. Sometimes I think we are guilty of forgetting that Jesus was not only God's son, but He was also a man. He had emotions, he felt pain and  heartache. Imagine the pain when in your darkest hour your closest friends could not even stay awake and look out for you. In that moment Jesus was in prayer, praying 'not my will, but thine be done' 


Jesus could have been made a name for Himself as the greatest teacher. He had and has more knowledge and wisdom than any man will ever have, or could comprehend, yet He followed His Fathers plan through to completion. A plan to create a path for the sinful man to a holy God. He took the punishment for my sin and yours (if you trust in Him) so that we may know God. 


What do I do in return? What do you do in return? I stand in awe and worship of this the ultimate act of love. But how does this play out in real life? How does it make a difference? If I set out each day, each moment to live like Christ, and not as Christy would there be a difference? Of course there would. If i lived out not my will, but thine, there would be a transformation. If you lived out not my will, but thine, there would. Jesus Christ was selfless unto death on a cross. Yet at times I'm not even selfless enough to lend my favourite t-shirt or hoody to my sister. A selfless attitude is not of this world, it is radically different. This world says 'stand up for yourself' 'you want it, get it'. Christ was selfless unto death. Wow, He had a a different attitude! I pray that you and I can become more selfless, with the help of the Holy Spirit. I pray that the Holy Spirit would correct our selfishness, and help us to become more and more selfless in all we do. If we changed to become selfless servants of Christ, how would that impact the unsaved or the apathetic Christian?

Decision Made

I  promised this update once the decision had been made, and it was this afternoon.

Firm: Medicine @ Queens  (Provided i achieve an A in Chemistry)
Insurance: Biomedical Science @ East Anglia

Needless to say since the two major exams for A2 did not go as well as I had hoped, I am now praying enough was done to achieve the A.

Decisions and Disney

For those of you who know me well, you know that I dislike making decisions, especially when they involve more than myself. One of you, now forces me to make every decision (which is just not fair, and i think it should stop, every other decision maybe.) And at the same time I can be opinionated. And I am for sure an over thinker. 

At the moment I am deciding between my university choices. Easily the biggest and most complex decision I have made, or more correctly I am about to make. Just to fill in those who do not know:

I have narrowed the options for first chioce down to:

Medicine at Queens, Belfast (Home) or Medicine at Liverpool (30min plane journey away)

My Insurance will be Biomedical Science at East Anglia. (Since I withdrew from Medicine at Brighton because I got offers from my top two medical courses. And I decided that although I love the idea of doing theology I can't see myself using it in employment.)

I had decided on Queen's, but today I went into school to go over everything with the careers teacher. My mind is now confused. She reminded me about the opportunities that would come from going to Liverpool, the experience I will gain from contact with a more diverse community and the chance to live away from home. 

So the decision making process continues. In the form of prayer and pro's and con lists. I am a fan of lists, I make quite a lot of lists, usually to do lists. But pro and con lists for this decision just do not seem to cut it. So if you have any suggestions, throw them my way ;) Pro and con lists are too simple for something so complex. Their are too many factors to consider with completely varying importance and influence, some of which I can not predict.  

Roy E. Disney- "When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier."

It does become easier when I remember what I value. Infact it helped me decide Queens to begin with.  But it is still a difficult decision, not made any easier when I remember that this decision could involve five years of my life or more in Liverpool or Belfast. So the over thinking and the prayer continues. I'd be soo thankful for your prayers! The decision will be made before Tuesday 7th June, I will let you all know the final decision.

A Horrible Exam, but a beautiful day :)

An afternoon exam, so the morning consequently consisted of the last minute panic revision. I decided to leave the latest past paper for the morning, and I am soo glad I actually did it. The multiple choice was tricky, the options were so similar, and a lot of detail was placed on units- which I hadn't really looked at before. During the paper i made a mental note to ask mum if she could pop next door and get me a wee stew from Maud's around 12.10, so i could catch the 12.20 bus. 12.15 came and i was still working on the paper. I had forgot, packed up quickly and headed out the the bus stop. So at 12.20 i hopped on to the bus with only bottle of water, and a chocolate bar for lunch, hoping i would get lunch when i arrived in belfast.

After I got on the bus driver popped out, and then one elderly man. The bus driver came back and the two companions informed him that their friend had gone to the bathroom, and continued to explain their friends 'bowel trouble' repeatedly, and assure us he 'wont be too long'. Meanwhile I'm thinking 'Should i go and get lunch' 'No by the time the stew is ready, the man will be back' The elderly friend interrupts my thoughts again 'He'll be back very soon' 'Maybe I should leave it, or i could ask mum...no by now the man must be done' 10 minutes past, needless to say i could have and should have gotten my stew, but I did not want to miss the bus, or hold it up anymore. In total 15 minutes passed by, and so to did the possibility of getting a proper lunch in Belfast before the exam.

I get the notes out and continue revision. An lovely elderly women joins me in Carryduff, just as I consider reading my Bible. She wishes me all the best and is sure I'l  get the grade I need, and shares a little about a friends son who is just qualified as a doctor. Her trip was short and she gets off, leaving me with a smile and encouraged. Funnily when she first sat down I thought to myself I might encourage her with my Bible or be able to share my faith. 

After a little while I began to panic and felt something strange in my pocket, and i pulled out a key with a tag. 

"I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven"

After which i re-read a passage I have been focussing on- Colossians 3. Helping me to re-focusing on what is important, God. I am made to glorify God and enjoy Him. 

"Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth."

And I remember again the message inside my key- My Beloved. The King of all loves for me, and cares about me. He will see that His plan for my life is fulfilled. Another funny thing to add-  that key was on my car keys, it shouldn't have been in my hoody. 

I hopped off a stop early, power walked to the Spar, picked up a banana, and a cereal bar and chewing gum. I continued power walking on to the college, eating the banana as i went, and finishing the cereal bar as i arrive.

Th paper- very tricky and tight for time. I came out and conferred with a few friends who felt the same. I was still a bit concerned, I need an A, and I can't afford to mess up. On route home- Ryan Griffiths- Faithful to the End filled my ears and spoke to my heart.

http://www.we7.com/song/Ryan-Griffith/Faithful-To-The-End?m=0

God will continue being faithful to me, he has brought me this far, He will be faithful till the end. I pray that one 'end chapter' is in sight- the end of chemistry and the beginning of Medicine. I trust in Him, and if that is not the plan for my life, He will show me the way.

And then in the evening to top it all off I just happened to see the most beautiful (double) rainbow, amongst the powerful winds and down pour. The photo doesn't do it justice!

He ALWAYS keeps His PROMISES. I praise God for His faithfulness. This year I would never have planned, but God has been faithful and I look forward praying- hopefully and expectantly for beginning Medicine next year, despite the lack of confidence I have in my performance in my last paper. Whatever happens I know "that for those who love God all things work together for good."

The One Thing

At meetings for a summer mission I have been challenged to think about what I know about God? Not just what I know from the Bible, but from my life, my personal experiences. The one thing I really know to be true. The one thing no one could take away from me. When I doubt, what is it that I can not get away from, what do I base my faith on. What am I certain of, and how do I know.

I came up with three main things that I always hold to be true. So here our three main things;


I do not know about you, but I often stand in wonder of beauty, complexity and intricacy of two things- The Human Body and The World. I can not possibly comprehend that all of what we see, just happened, there had to be thought behind it, a plan. When I look at the stars and the moon at night, I see glory and power, that points to something bigger, bigger than me. When I think how even the basic movement of a finger works I am see complexity that requires planning- My brain sends a signal to my finger, which causes muscles in the forearm/palm of the hand to pull/release a tendon in the finger.  The thumb alone is controlled by 9 muscles, and 3 nerves. Not only do I see planning in the amazing human body, and the world but in my own life- coincidences upon coincidences. Simply put I can not imagine a world with out a creator, with out a life giver, a master planner- who is still working through His plan.

Secondly each one of us no matter how different have inside us a knowledge of what is right and wrong. It doesn't vary much between us all either, even between nations. It is not always what we want to do, or what is most beneficial for us, since it often involves giving to others, and putting aside our own wants and desires. So why would we have created it? It often goes against what we wish to do, and we can never fully live up to it, no matter how good we are. And so i believe there must be a moral creator, who lives up to true morality. The amazing thing is that despite how much I mess up, He still wants to know me and sent His only son to take the cost of my sin, that I might have that relationship through Christ and join Him in heaven. 


And lastly, I know from experiences that God is love. Not love that we know, a perfect love, an unconditional love. This in-between year for me has been a lonely one at times, chemistry class for two hours a day during the week isn't the same as school and many friends have moved on to university. God has always been there, even during the most loneliest times, he is there and he loves me and reminds me of the bigger picture.  A few instances pop to my mind of how i know God's love, not just from reading the Bible but often from His words speaking to my heart. In fact I believe my first blog entry was on one of those. 

After thinking it through I deciding there were almost two big questions there, which most certainly over lap, but are still separate- 

 1.) How do I know there is a God?

 2.) What do I know about Him?


Ultimately salvation belongs to God, it is not my 'insight' that saved me,  but God revealing himself. And it is only through Christ I have been made right in the sight of a holy God. 


"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God" 
Ephesians 2:8

Do More

This is a quote I read a while ago, saved it on my phone and have kept coming back to it. I think you'll understand why- 


"Do more than belong; participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practice. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work. "
William Arthur Ward.


Last week I read John 14, the following few verses have really been in my head and challenged me since.


"Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it."
John 14:12-14


How crazy it is to think that we could be used by Him to do greater works than Christ! But that is what He has said, "whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do" Let us go to God, humbly, in Christ's name asking expectantly for Him to do mighty works and ready to do more for Him. It can be easy to pray for things to change. It is often more difficult to take the time to think how we be used to change the situation or to make a difference. And even more difficult to take more time and act. But as a follower of Christ I am called not only to pray, pray expectantly but be willing to step out for God, and do more.

 "For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline."

2 Timothy 1:7

This is the Truth

I went to a worship event last night, at which this video was played.

It left me feeling encouraged. Definately worth watching, the whole way through.

Recently a few things have left me feeling unwanted, unloved. 

Rewind to 1.25

'But you must know

that you can be loved

that you are wanted

that He wants to know you

that God has a plan for your life

that the Almighty wants to be your Father'

After finding the video on youtube and re-watching it, a few verses came to mind, and i thought i'd share them:

Psalm 103:17

" But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children."

Jeremiah 31:3

" I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness."

John 15:13

"Greater love has no man than this than to lay down His life for His friends"

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I hope you find the joy I did in that video and those verses. You are loved.

It is always good to be reminded that we, both you and i are loved- loved by God, the King of all Kings, our Creator. Be remind YOU are LOVED, loved my God. Loved by the Almighty. Loved by the Creator, your Creator. That is worth far far more than anything, or anyone in this world. 

It is refreshing to remember that despite how we feel, from the things this world throws at us, how unloved, unwanted, rejected we feel, God still loves us. 

So... to finish if God loves me- despite how many times I mess up, do not listen or get angered too easily... then what should I do? What should my response be to this pure, everlasting love? I should love because He first loved me. I should learn to love, love unconditionally, as Christ first loved me.

1st John 4:19

We love because He first loved us.

Welcome :)

Welcome, welcome, welcome :)
I have thought about making a blog for a long time, and I have not came to any conclusions, so I've decided to go for it, and if I fail at it I fail.

I am not exactly sure what I will write, the purpose it will serve, or who will read my ramblings but I am certain it is likely to contain my thoughts on life, and most probably my relationship with God.

I hope you enjoy it and gain something from it.

I look forward to sharing with you soon.